


Forbidden

by anchan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Forbidden Love, Forbidden! Riren, Happy ending... I think, M/M, Ok implied happy ending, One-Sided Relationship, One-sided! Eremika, One-sided! Rivetra, btw this can be found at fan fiction.net, everyone let's be happy together, first fic on ao3 to celebrate my bday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 03:17:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1966968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anchan/pseuds/anchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was wrong. The wanton moans, the heated kisses, the hands roaming around each other’s body. How did this happen? Forbidden! Riren, Onesided! Rivetra, Eremika.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forbidden

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was first posted on ff.net. Decided to post it as my first work here as celebration for my birthday! 17/07!
> 
> Rating’s a high T since there’s no smex, but heavy hinting that there’s lots of it haha. I don’t trust myself to write smut... Enjoy!
> 
> Edit: Can now be found on tumblr! http://hello-anchan.tumblr.com/post/92230729091/fic-forbidden-oneshot

_It was wrong. So very wrong. The wanton moans, the heated kisses, the hands roaming around each other’s body. Every little action was forbidden._

_But they couldn’t stop._

_How could they have let this happen?_

* * *

“Make your schedule free this Friday,” It wasn’t a request; it was a demand that had to be met.

Eren sighed and nodded in response – he had long grown used to his fiancée’s straightforward and stubborn personality. He had been like her in the past; the two continually fought for dominance over the other. It was rare for a woman to refuse to bend over her partner’s request. After all, women are supposed to be mild-mannered, gentle and obedient.

But not Mikasa. She was fierce, headstrong in her actions and stubborn. Manly, even. It was what attracted Eren to her. They had remained good friends for many years since young despite their many arguments, most of which had Mikasa trying to prevent Eren from doing something stupid.

Of course, as they reached an age appropriate for marriage, it was only natural for them to end up together. Even their parents had eagerly agreed. Eren had never felt what others described as a romantic love. He had never felt a strong sexual or romantic attraction towards Mikasa or any other girl. The closest he had was platonic love towards the raven-haired girl.

And as time passed, and the date of their wedding neared, Eren felt regret that he will never be able to feel that powerful pull of feelings towards a someone special.

He blew away the steam wafting from his cup of coffee and looked up at Mikasa. _His fiancée_ , he thought, and felt a strange tug at his chest. Dismissing it, he sipped his drink. He should be thankful to have her as his partner. Why was he overthinking over this?

“We’re meeting my friend, Petra, and her husband for dinner. Petra has kindly offered to help us plan our wedding.”

 “I’ve never heard her name before,” Eren remarked.

“That’s because you never remember any of my friends’ names,” the raven-haired girl huffed in annoyance. “And Armin doesn’t count,” she added, watching Eren’s mouth open in preparation to retort, and close disappointedly.

“Why do we need someone to help plan our wedding?” The brunet pouted.

“Because my fiancé,” Mikasa stared pointedly at Eren, “is a lazy ass who thinks that my planning alone equals to our working together.”

 “Alright, alright,” Eren raised his hands in surrender. “Have I met them before?”

 Mikasa glanced over at his face before returning her gaze to the newspaper in her hands. “No.”

* * *

_“I need to go,” he whispered, his words the opposite of his actions._

_A hand rose up to rest on his head, fingers lazily threading through his hair. “She won’t be back until tomorrow. Stay longer.”_

_He wanted to. He **needed** to. But he couldn’t. “I can’t.”_

_And he reluctantly got up from the bed, away from the warmth, away from **him**._

* * *

"Good evening. I’m Eren Jäger, and this is my fiancée, Mikasa.”

All he had heard from Petra was that they were going to have dinner with her friend and said friend’s fiancé. Nothing could have prepared him to meet someone, _(a male)_ , with such amazingly _green_ eyes. And the moment his grey ones made contact with those emerald ones, _something_ just snapped inside him. Something different. Something electrifying.

Realising that he had yet to introduce himself and his wife, ( _I have a wife, he internally chastises himself)_ , he opens his mouth and, “Levi. Levi and Petra Ackermann.”

And he sees something in those green, green eyes light up in excitement.

And among the quartet, the two innocent females who had done absolutely nothing wrong and who were completely oblivious to the connection the two males had made, continued to make their way to their table in the restaurant, ignorant of the broken hearts that would come in the future.

* * *

_“You’re home late,” she says, voice seemingly neutral._

_“You didn’t have to wait up for me,” the brunet replies, feeling almost annoyed, but the irritation vanishes instantly as he looks at her worried visage and thinks that no, she should be the one angry with him. He was the one who was slowly crumbling the walls of their seemingly stable relationship behind her back, after all._

_“Where were you?” she asks, and he was scared to answer, scared to see if the strong girl he had grown up with since childhood would finally break down in tears in front of him and it was all his fault._

_"_ _Out,” he struggles to answer, “Out drinking with friends.”_

_“You don’t smell of alcohol.” He wants to kneel down in front of her, and beg her for forgiveness, beg her to hate him and despise him and curse him but instead-_

_“You’re not a bloodhound, Mikasa, what makes you think you can smell what’s on me,” He snorts sarcastically and storms off into his room and slams the door shut, leaving her in shock at his attitude-_

_And inside his room, he leans against the door and slides down onto the floor, tears already streaking down his cheeks._

_She’s wrong, he thinks, he most definitely is drunk. Drunk and high on this emotion people called love. Yet, he can never openly express it. It was forbidden after all – a love between two men. Two men where one is married, and the other engaged._

* * *

Eren waited in comfortable silence with Mikasa by his side as they waited at the entrance of the restaurant for the other couple to arrive. When they did arrive, he quickly introduced himself to the other.

First he saw a ginger-haired lady with warm brown eyes and a sweet smile gracing her face, and he had thought to himself that she was almost the opposite of his dark-haired, dark-eyed fiancée. But then, he took notice of the male standing beside. He was short, barely taller than Petra, and she wasn’t wearing any heels. Dark hair combed with a part at the side and an undercut – and suddenly Eren found himself staring at the man’s grey eyes. The man stared back at him and Eren was sure that if he hadn’t spoken up, he would have continued staring at those grey orbs in awkward silence.

“Levi,” The man, Levi, spoke, “Levi and Petra Ackermann.”

The two females had already begun walking into the restaurant. Eren didn’t move. He felt a tugging sensation in chest, and this time, it wasn’t a feeling of regret. No, he was excited. There was something about Levi that just made him feel ecstatic. At that moment, he didn’t care if he would regret it later on. He only knew that right now, he wanted Levi.

A spark in him was reignited – something he thought had died long ago.

Levi brought up a hand and brought it out as if offering a handshake, a small smirk playing on his lips. “It’s a pleasure meeting you.”

* * *

_How did this happen_ , Eren thought to himself, breathing in and out heavily. One moment, they were chatting inside the restaurant, and the next, here he was, panting as if he had run a marathon and leaning against the wall of a toilet cubicle with Levi in front of him, covering his neck in kisses.

The two girls, or more precisely, Petra, had instantly started talking about her ideas for the wedding. Mikasa listened patiently, nodding at parts and occasionally giving her two cents. The two men on the other hand...

Eren was fascinated with Levi. The latter was short in height, yet his very aura was intimidating. And those cold, grey eyes of his looks at everything in disdain but upon seeing Eren, the disdain instantly melts to show something more gentle and, dare he say, aroused.

The brunet tried to make small talk with Levi while the two girls were in a world of their own. “So, how’d you end up getting dragged here?” He asked, adding a small chuckle at the end, as if humour would ease the tension between the two.

He got a reply, but not in the verbal way he was expecting. Oh no, it was a very physical reply, and in no way did it answer his question.

Green eyes widened in surprise as he felt a covered foot sensually drag itself down the side of his pants-covered calf, leaving goose bumps in its wake. Eren’s head immediately shot up to glare accusingly at Levi.

The latter merely continued his molestation of Eren’s legs, smirking teasingly all the while, even looking away from the brunet at one point to comment on something his wife had said. And all the while, his foot continued to prod at Eren’s legs. 

Meanwhile, the younger male could feel himself getting excited from the ministrations and was silently thankful that all the tables were covered with silken tablecloths that reached the carpeted floor.

A now familiar foot abruptly pressed against his growing arousal, causing Eren to almost jolt up from his seat. Mikasa turned to face him, face creased in worry. “Are you all right, Eren?”

Eren gave a nervous chuckle and scratched the nape of his neck nervously. “Nothing, I-I almost fell asleep and nearly planted my face onto the plate.” He rubbed at his eyes for emphasis.

Mikasa smiled at his apparent save and turned away from him to continue listening to Petra, adding a quiet, “You should join in with the discussion too, Eren.”

Yes, he most certainly would if it could distract him from his growing arousal. But instead, he stared at Levi, whose grey eyes were clouded with arousal as well.

As suddenly as it had started, the physical contact stopped. Eren nearly hissed aloud at the sudden loss of contact. Levi had stood up from the table, excusing himself and headed towards the restaurant’s gents room. The two girls paid no heed at his absence, and Eren turned his head slightly to watch Levi walk away.

His heart nearly stopped beating when Levi turned and indicated, with a slight tilt of his chin, for Eren to follow him.

Eren could have chosen to ignore the invitation and willed his arousal to go away. He could have tried to pay attention to the ideas Petra was throwing out excitedly. He could have stayed put on his seat, and headed back home in an hour’s time with Mikasa. And, in a few months, he could have been happily married with his childhood friend and living a peaceful life, maybe with a child or two even.

He got up from his seat, excusing himself, and strode towards the gents room, where the forbidden apple was waiting for him.

* * *

_His mind was drawing a blank._

_He felt as if he were drowning; it was suffocating. His words echoed in his mind repeatedly._

_He opened his mouth to say something, but only a strangled cry came out. He didn’t know what to say, how to react._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_The man who had captured his heart, and made him feel more emotions within a span of weeks than he ever had in his entire life was now trying to make him forget everything._

_“Why?” He finally found his voice._

_“It’s for your own goo-“_

_“No!” Eren was surprised by his own outburst. It had been a long time since he had felt strongly enough about anything to fight for it. “No.”_

_“Eren,” Levi started, and was immediately interrupted-_

_“Don’t leave me.” He was trying so hard not to break down, but he still ended up with tears rolling down his cheeks uncontrollably. Eren hated himself so much at that moment. He was trying to take away an amazing girl’s husband away from her. He was going to abandon his faithful fiancée for his own greedy sake. He was trying to ruin his own and Levi’s future simply because he wanted more of that sweet, sweet forbidden fruit._

_Why did this have to happen?_

* * *

Their secret rendezvouses became more often. Often, they met at various hotels spread around the city. Occasionally, they would travel out of the city under the pretense of business meetings. But Eren enjoyed it most when, on the rare occasions that either Mikasa or Petra was not home, Levi could come over to his house, or vice versa.

During these ‘meetings’, he felt as if he were free, unrestrained.

(It didn’t hurt that the sex was great.)

Whispers of ‘I love you’s’ flew around the room whenever the two were alone, and Eren truly felt that that was what love was supposed to feel.

And he just knew that Levi returned his feelings.

But whenever he returns and sees Mikasa ( _her worried glances and suspicious gazes does not escape him_ ), a heavy feeling of guilt washes over him, and he _almost_ regrets his actions.

Sometimes, he finds himself wanting to run away with Levi, somewhere far away. Away from Mikasa’s wary looks, away from Petra’s cheerful and innocent naïveté, away from society’s disapproving eyes.

In the end, he always comes back to meet Levi and the two would spend one more night together, and the detestable cycle repeats.

And that was exactly how it should have gone that day. The feeling of joy and freedom being together with Levi, before guilt washes over his entirety when he sees his fiancée, and all the while, the world continues to spin around on its axle.

 

But no.

 

Instead, on that day, Mikasa had returned earlier than expected.

They weren’t in a compromising position, nor were they doing anything that could have hinted at their secret relationship. But just having him in _their_ house, sitting on _their_ sofa, drinking from _their_ cup and looking at _her_ Eren was more than enough proof for her.

Eren never heard from Levi again since that day. His relationship with Mikasa only grew more strained, what with the stress of their upcoming nuptials.

He spent what spare time he had trying to contact the grey-eyed, raven-haired enigma, but all his attempts had ended in failure.

His mother could help him, he had thought, she would support him. But the moment he breached the topic of homosexuality, the usually gentle woman had frowned and vehemently insisted that it was against the very meaning of humankind’s existence.

His friends had been no different.

Armin had turned into a stuttering mess, embarrassed yet coherent enough to voice out his bias.

Connie and Sasha, the most open-minded couple he knew, had been uncomfortable with the topic.

He hadn’t even bothered to ask Jean.

All of them were against him.

He had had a choice to live out a normal life, but it was too late to turn back now. He didn’t want the normal, safe and peaceful lives that the others led. He wanted a life with Levi.

And suddenly, the man who had disappeared from him so suddenly was now right in front of him. But the words coming out of his mouth was not what he had been expecting to hear.

“I’m moving to France next week.”

Only silence replied his statement. The older man looked into those green eyes that he had fallen in love with – no, he had fallen in love with the owner of those green eyes. And he still is in love with the younger, awkward and cute man.

Those green eyes were like a mirror of Eren’s emotions. Confusion, happiness and anger all mixed together.

“Your father had a talk with me.” It was more of a one-sided, physical fight, with Grisha Jäger winning and Levi not fighting back, but the raven-haired male was not about to mention that to Eren. Not after he had stayed away from him for several days to make sure the bruises were gone and Eren wouldn’t get suspicious. “Mikasa told him her suspicions about us. I couldn’t deny it.”

_And now he’s running away, not with me, but away from me, to France_ , Eren faintly realised. _He’s leaving on the day I’m supposed to get married._

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Eren croaked out, finally finding his voice.

“It’s for your own goo-“ Levi was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince Eren. That’s right. Everything would be better off this way.

“No!” Eren’s voice was clear. “No.”

“Eren,” Levi tried again, his resolve on the verge of breaking down.

“Don’t leave me.” And then Eren was on his knees and crying and before he realised it, Levi had already crouched down in front of him and was fervently hugging him, whispering ‘I’m sorry’s’ and ‘Don’t cry’s’ and ‘I love you’s’.

* * *

Passengers were beginning to board the ferry. Levi and Petra were one of the first few to board and were now looking over the deck and watching as people waved goodbye to their loved ones.

“France! I can’t wait to visit my parents there!” Petra chattered excitedly to her husband.

Levi merely hummed lifelessly in reply. The ginger-haired lady glanced at him worriedly for a moment before she continued prattling about nothing.

5 minutes before the ferry departed, and an announcer was calling out for any latecomers.

“I knew about it,” Petra suddenly announced to Levi. He stared at her, eyes slightly widened. She chuckled good-naturedly and continued, “I was upset at first. Why did this have to happen? Was there anything wrong with me? Did I do anything wrong? But then, every time I saw you after you spend time with him, I noticed that you looked different.”

Levi stared at her, a frown etched on his forehead.

“You’ve changed, Levi,” She whispered.

“2 minutes!” The announcer yelled from behind them.

“Go.”

“Petra, I-“ Levi had so many things to say to her. He wanted to apologise to her, to thank her, to-

“Hurry up, or the ferry will leave with you still on it,” Petra laughed at him. It was the first time, in all the years she had been married to him, that she saw him so surprised and confused at the same time.

Words could not describe her surprise when Levi suddenly hugged her and whispered a ‘thank you’, before dashing off and getting off the ferry, much to the chagrin of the announcer, who had been about to close the entryway.

She giggled at the announcer’s face, but then her voice caught. Her vision blurred for a moment and she placed a hand on her cheeks, feeling the wet trail her tears had left. “I truly did love you.”

* * *

A choir group was singing melodiously in the background as he watched Mikasa, all dressed up and swathed in white, walk down the aisle and towards him.

 

His heart should have been hammering against his chest in excitement.

 

His palms should have been clammy and sweaty from the nerves.

 

He should have thinking how beautiful his soon-to-be wife looked as she slowly walked towards him.

 

Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve, but didn’t.

 

And before he knew it, Mikasa was in front of him, and the priest was reciting lines that he’d heard from many other weddings he had attended in the past. “... Do you, Eren Jäger, take her hand...”

And at that moment, Eren could only think of a certain short, snappy, enigmatic older man and how much he wanted to be with him right now.

When Eren did not answer his vows, the priest prodded him. “...Sir?”

But before he could answer, the door to the church slammed open, and all he could think and see was Levi.

 

Panting and sweating and looking extremely pissed off – It was Levi.

 

People were beginning to grow restless and curious. From the side, he could see his father gesturing at him to hurry up and just _say his vows_.

His eyes turned to Levi again – the man hadn’t moved from his spot at the entrance. He had regained his breath and was now simply staring at Eren, as if waiting for him to act.

He was given another chance. A chance to fix his life. The normal life that he sought for. All he had to do was turn away from Levi, say his vows, and his life is complete. It should have been complete.

“Go.”

“Huh?” His head swivelled back to face Mikasa.

A small, almost sad, smile was on her lips. “He’s waiting for you. Go before I change my mind.”

“Mikasa...” He whispered, still hesitant.

“I love you, Eren. I’m happy if you’re happy.” And he saw her smile widely, a view he had not witnessed for a long time.

“Thank you.”

 

And he turned away from the flabbergasted, stuttering priest, away from his infuriated father, away from the gawking guests and away from Mikasa.

 

Away from a normal life-

 

And into _his_ arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, awkward end to an awkward start. It would have ended up as a rambling mess if I tried to continue it. It was supposed to be a tragic, sob-inducing oneshot and as you can see, it did not turn out the way I wanted it to.
> 
> Anyway, reviews make me happy! Criticism accepted as well! Thank you!!!


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